I’m going through hell. And I thought last semester and last year were hard. Boy, was I wrong, because things just keep getting difficult. I know God has grown me and want to believe He is now. But I don’t want to trust Him. I feel like I’ve taken 5 million steps back. I don’t want to write about everything, but here is a song that describes what I’m feeling, amid a myriad of other feelings. I am so weak and undisciplined and apathetic and wounded right now that I don’t want to turn to God. I know that I should. I want somewhat to be at that point of complete surrender again, and leave everything there, and believe the Gospel, but I can’t make myself get there, and I still want to hold on to control.
These Hard Times by NeedToBreathe
Give me something brighter
Give me something I can see
Give me something vicious
Give me something I can be
Give me all the love and peace
To end these wars
Give me something sacred
Something worth fighting for
It’s clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need
Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times
Give me motivation
Give me all my heart’s desires
Show me something gorgeous
Show me till my eyes get tired
Give me all the drums and
Show me how to play them loud
Show me how to move
When I can’t feel that you’re around
It’s clear enough to me
The ugliness I see
Is evidence of who I need
Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times
We hide like theives in shadows
Scared of the sun
We know the light will find us
Us and all we’ve done
Give me an answer
Give me a way out
Give me the faith
To believe in these hard times
